Well it was a good Christmas :D

so yeah i had a good Christmas this year, got everything i wanted (snowboard) and some (Wii) :D. Though i must say being without my friends 24 hours, is a terrible thing, because then i think, and at somepoint of thinking i think about my past, i wouldnt trade my past for anything else because it has made me who i am. But it still hurts because my past is still tender. So yeah if i act funny in the next couple of days, sorry guys. :[at least if you read this you'll know why

....

:'[

so life been doing pretty swell :D

soo yeah lifes good, God is blessing me, and im hungry lol yeah thats pretty much it. i gotta organize my thoughts though for this pamphlet type thing. id also like to write a song :P lifes busy but hey i like it :D

AHHHH!!!!!

PRESSURE, im starting to go crazy, my interveiw is friday and im stressed, ahhh. I pray i get this job like woah, it'd be a great way to get my foot in the door, and to serve my country. AHH im hoping i get this job pray for me, STRESS ahhh.

LOL

ITS ERIC!! :P

Introduction

Well im gonna start writing a pamphlet/speech on here. Because i can. Other than that nothing really has been going on. WINTER LAX STARTS SAT. :D and i have my interveiw Fri. im nervous already :'(. Though it all is in God's hands, im just praying that i get in. :D. Got measured for a suit, its gonna be pretty suite (PUN). And im almost done Christmas shopping yayayayaya :D. so yeah, anything on your mind, just comment yo

I MADE IT :D

soo yeah i didnt make it in the official announcing of the NHS but i did make it from my letter of appeal to the teacher. it went like this.

1st period the NHS(National Honors Society) chairmen came to the class room and announced all who made it in, unfortunately i wasnt announced so i went to the teacher and was all like "what can i do to be better. She pulled out the application and said here we dont understand what your role here is, but you can write a letter of appeal and we'll consider it. Keep in mind im not the only one who did this. Its NHS and all the kids are smart who get in. so i came home and wrote this:

Assistant Leader Appeal

In my assistant leadership position for the youth worship team I do many things. The first and main priority is to keep the band focused on their part, whether it be the singers and making sure they sing the right notes, or making sure they aren't talking. I also co-lead in songs, since I am a guitarist I help lead the band with rhythm, harmony, and time. Another role of my assistant leadership position is to listen to the band members and what kind of songs they would like to play and voice it to the leader. The leadership position also gets to choose how the instruments are used.
When the leader is not at practice or is away for a while, I become the leader. My responsibilities change from just keeping the band focused to choosing the songs, leading every aspect of the band, and putting the song together so it sounds good. The only responsibility that I don't annex is appearing in front of the church committee.

then i turned it in this morning and fourth period (last period of the day) The teacher of NHS came to my class room and told me i got in :D. She also told me that i got in mainly because of my writing style and my diction :D. and tomorrow is ceremony wooooooo :D im pumped :D

Stevie Ray Vaughn RIP

This is texas flood, a great song. SRV is definately one of the best guitarists in the world. better than Jimi hendrix i think. If you dont want to watch the whole movie, i know its long. at least watch from 7 minutes on its amazing. My new hero in the world of guitar. other than that nothing really is up. im just glad its friday

WOO WE WON

yeah, so today i ran a lot and remembered why i l ike running. First we did 30yds worth of sprinting then we did a cut excerise with posts, 2 gasers 400yds each, and a couple more sprints :P, after that we play foot ball, and must i say we switched me a on a team so it would be even. Needless to say, as soon as i switched teams, i ran a hail mary into a cut, and caught the ball for a touch down, then i did a quick cross and caught it at the 1 yard line. yeah today was a good day, who wants to go do some sprints with me ??

i didnt make it :[

I didnt make it this semester so im gonna try next :D oh well, its God's will therefore there is a plan. But at least Lacrosse training went great. we played foot ball :D

I feel like the air is clean and a burden has been lifted :D

I am Vindicated

I am selfish

I am wrong

I am right

I swear I'm right

I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed

But I am cleaning up so well

I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

Vindicated by Dashboard confessional

Thank you (you know who you are)

i didnt mean to post after you left but i felt obligated to because i got thinking, and im happy :D sorry guys that my blog looks bipolar but i like blogging in extreme emotion :D

but hear ye hear ye im not the one cleaning myself up God is :D

again thank you and sorry

I want these words to pop out at you!

So these are my thought im not holding back, this time its for real
usually im mono tone but im serious and ironacally enough when im serious im not monotone

Right now im thinking about thing about my life

why people work the way they do

in case you wondering i have a song going through my head

so if you see some random words, thats what they are

i was going to hold off on blogging because i was waiting for 3 more people to comment, that i know have blogspot.

im on the verge, im on the verge,

of just jumping off the edge, been betrayed too many times

people are just people

and i guess i expect too much

im not writing this for your sympithy (sp)

but i am a man of feeling

whether that seem manly or not i frankly don't give an owls hoot

i dont want it, except maybe by one person but its not to get her to feel bad for me either

im writing it because this is a blog and after all aren't my thought suppose to be on here

the whole time.

I like this style of writing

i think society should accept it

it'd be a lot more fun to write in the middle of the page.

I cut myself shaving not too long ago and a blood clot came out

Im on the verge

of breaking out of my shell this is the last time i ever wanna be hurt.

Emotionally tortured, or in vain

I lost too many friends too many times, too many places too many ryhmes (hehe)

im not in a good mood and im gonna let you know it.

If i go hospitalized would you even know it? even care? or look around you to see if im there?

this time i've fallen far

and im afraid God doesn't want me back.

IM on the verge

of letting everyone know everything

more than just now

all the time, if you want ill let you know every single one of my insecurities

just ask, ironically this isnt something im just gonna put out there, im not permiscuous

have you ever wondered why i do what i do, why i pick on people even though i regret it afterward

its all a matter of my insecurities, its afterward i think about things, im too worried all the time whether people like me or not, whether im an annoyance or not

afterwards we sit down and think and notice we did screw up

My shame, my pity, my ignorance, my feelings, my selfstupidness is all here

all the time

but im sorry

there is nothing i can do about it

Im not God, i just wanna be a really strong follower of Christ.

Right now, the song welcome to my life feels like it applies, but it doesn't

ive lost too many groups of friends too many times

Just tell me what i do wrong, and not be like EVERYONE else and talk about me behind my back, and even if you don't i wanna know what you think about me...

In case you were wondering...

This sums it up
if you were here comment i wanna know who looks at my blog...

Its Quiz time.

---------BASICS--------
Full Name: Brian T. K-Garland
Age: 16
School: Old MIll OH YEAH 08
Email: Not available
Eyes: changes from green to hazel
Hair: brown
Height: 6' 3"
Shoe Size: 14
Who lives with you: Mom and Dad, bro moved out
When is your bedtime: i dont have one :P


---------HAVE YOU EVER--------
Flown on a plane: yeah
Drank so much water that you started to feel sick: LOL yeah
Missed school because it was raining: nope cant say i have
Told a girl that you liked them?: Yup :D
Been hurt emotionally: who hasn't?
Kept a secret from everyone: lol yeah
Had an imaginary friend: still do, his name is steven
Ever talked to yourself: who doesn't talk to themselves, seriously now
Been on stage: Yup :D
Cut your hair: Unfortunately
Had crush on a teacher: Cant say that i have

--------------Favorite------------
Shampoo: Redken
Favorite color: Red and Black
Day/Night: Night life is the life for me
Summer/Winter: Winter definately, snowboarding :D
Cartoon Character: hmmm, Bugs bunny
Favorite Food: IT's easier to ask what i dont like, and i can tell you, pancakes and french toast
Favorite Advertisement: MAN LAW!!!
Favorite Drink: Mountain Dew, or Cherry Pepso
Favorite Person to talk to online: Erin :D
Favorite Sport: Lacrosse is the sport for me
Favorite car:Mercedes Bens LS 2007
------------RIGHT NOW-------------
Wearing: Sack Cloth
Eating: A pic
Drinking: Mountain Dew
Thinking about: Erin
Listening to: Dark Blue by Jack Mannequin
--------IN THE LAST 24 HRS---------
Cried: nope
Laughed: yup
Worn Jeans: before i put on my sack cloth
Done Laundry: nope
Drove a car: yup
Talked on the phone: yeah
Said "I love you": nope, but i said i like you (alot) :D

---------DO YOU BELIEVE IN----------
Yourself:yes
Your friends:yes
Santa Claus:no
Tooth Fairy: i beat up the tooth fairy
Destiny/Fate: Yes
Angels: yes
Ghosts: Angels or demons
UFO's: Angels or Demons
God: UHH DUH

--------FRIENDS AND LIFE-----------
Do you ever wish you had another name? nope im proud of my own dynasty
Do you like anyone? OF COURSE :D
Which one of your friends acts the most like you? Mike W. definately he just doesnt know it yet
Which of your friends have you known the longest? Mike H.
Who's the loudest: Erin
Who's the shyest: Aly
Are you close to any family members?: My brother
Who do you hang out with the most? The cooks, Mike, Dj, and Justin
When you cried the most: dun remember prolly some ATF
What's the best feeling in the world? Love
Worst Feeling: No love
What time is it now? 10:24 PM
------FINISH EACH SENTENCE---------
Let's walk in: to the dark
Let's run through: the jungle while under pursuit by the Rock
Let's dance in: the room with the music
Let's look at the: stars
What a nice: day
Where did all those: people come from?
When will they: leave us alone
How are: the hot tomallies?
Why can't you: just leave?
Silly, little: poop face
Show me some: love
The sky is: purple with a hint of green
Tell me: you love me
Hide me: from the hideous thing call hate
Love me: more than i love you
My mom thinks you're: the bomb
He's not: that funny
Are you that: oblivious
Can't you: fly?
What time is it now: 10:43 mind the pause of talking to my brother

Quick update for now, il;l update more tomorrow

I love this song

HAPPY HAPPY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIN :D the big 1-5 :D

This is inspiring (the determination part)

i wouldnt watch it if you get depressed easily..




ON a brighter note this weekend was good, next will be better and i can't wait for my interveiw with the job at which i am applying, so pray for me, that i may get this job, AND NHS, they induct on the 28th, so yeah i need prayer for that too, so please everyone pray for me please :D, and yeah school needs to let out now,

End post, Brian out

(2 days till Erin's Birthday, she is gonna love her present)

God Bless all

So i found this story i wrote last year for english...

We were suppose to take the Pit and the Pendulem and make it first person soo here it is...

Brian Garland November 9, 2005
“The Pit and the Pendulum: Remix”
“Run!” exclaimed my co-worker. As soon as those words died from his lips, I knew. I knew what was coming and I knew I had to get out. We were found out. Our only hope was through a trap door next to the press, which is where I just finished printing the third Bible of the day.
I started at a fast sprint, just as I saw a couple of inquisitorial agents coming into the back of our shop. I was the last one to make it out the trap door and into the alley. I tripped, leaving me hostage to the inquisitorial agents. They carried me away I shrieked for my life flashed before my eyes and I fainted, for it was as if I was carried away by death itself.
I woke up in a dark damp cell, and sat there for three months. As I sat there I started to ponder about my family, hoping they wouldn’t come searching for me, for they, too, would be arrested. I feared yet looked forward to my death, for it would bring peace, but it would be slow.
Finally, two guards led me, blindfolded to the courtroom as if they did not want me to see their cruelest inquisitorial tortures. As I sat in the chair they took off my blind fold, the darkness of the room has scared me. I knew the trial is going to be unfair. The whole time I was gazing at the marvelous courtroom. The darkness seemed to be interrupted by seven almost synchronized flickering candles. These candles are so conveniently placed on the table, that you can not see their faces, only see the black-robed judges. Their hands are white, so white it looks like they themselves have been tortured. The ceiling went up in an almost dome fixture, to be cut off by the opposing wall. And such marvelous carvings in the walls, I was fixed, until I heard my sentence.
Those words, they rang in my ears, “You are here by guilty of heresy, of publishing Bibles not admitted by the Catholic Church.” It doesn’t matter who it came from, my heart sank so much that, I was confused whether it was the judges, the jury, or even the guards all I know is the my penalty, death. Oh! How sweet was death at that moment, I was not about to let them torture me, I was going to kill myself! But just as this thought aroused, the judges started to fade, the candles went out, and I have fallen back as if I were falling into the pits of hell.
I had fainted, but consciousness was not lost. I am neither asleep nor drugged; I was lost, in a state between alertness and consciousness. I know I’m not dead, for if I were there would be no immortality for man. I vaguely remember being dropped down; all I know is two shadows have closed the door of the wretched cell. I felt dizzy as I fell to the ground. I can also tell something horrible happened due to the beating of my heart. There I lay flat on the cold stone floor motionless, as if I had to out run a train. I was covered in madness, madness of my mind which busies itself with thoughts of family, and friends, which is all forbidden.
I finally got some sense knocked into me. I just got more than a gist of my thoughts, every sense in my body just amplified. My body was as if it were asleep, some of it tingling, the rest of it numb. As I got myself together, the trail, me fainting and how I got to where I am, has come into memory.
I made my first attempt to move. I slump my arm out and let it fall. It hit knuckles first, on the damp, and hard. I feared of what I had hit. I feared there would be nothing in my sight. Opening my eyes my worst fears came to life. I couldn’t see my hand if my arm was outstretched, for light was not completely excluded. Covered by the darkness, I had trouble breathing. For I have the fear of the unknown.
Still lying down, I started to think if I was dead or not. I started when I got caught back at the shop. Proceeding from there I started to tie ends together. The night I was tried I remember there was a burning of a heretic. My brain reeling, I started wondering how long I was going to stay in here, another week; a few months maybe? Then I remember my friend Darius III. He was caught and tried. His sentence was death, and he met his sentence only a couple days later. None the less I knew I was in Toledo, due to the stone floors I have heard in common myths.
This new idea created a panic in me, my heart started racing so fast it felt as if cold arrows pierced my very heart again and again, causing me to faint once again.
When I started waking up I got to my feet at once, shaking constantly, not knowing what might face me. I spontaneously swung my arms in every direction. Being afraid to move a fiber in my legs, fearing I may impale myself on a spike in the walls of this death pit. Wondering what lay in my next step, I started sweating so bad that it almost sounded as if there was a well near by. My curiosity got the best of me and I outstretched my arms, and strained my eyes.
Taking these steps, I have a hope that I will see some trace of light. Failing in my search I started to seize my anxious moves, a simple breath of relief come out as I began to realize that my death was not so hideous.
Moving again, the repeated tales of the horrific deaths came, flooding my mind with pictures of unspeakable torture. I began to wonder, what treacherous way am I to die? Would I die by starvation in this abyss, or a more gruesome deliberate death?
This kept me busy for an hour, until I ran my fingers onto a cold, slimy, stone wall. Realizing that I can find out what kind of cell I am in by feeling my way around the wall. Also realizing that the wall had uniform groves I could place a type of marker to let me know when I made a full circuit. I started to reach for my knife that I had when I was in trial, for I was planning to break the lock with that very blade. It became a disappointing fact when I found out I had been stripped of all my possessions, being replaced by rough garment like material. So I ripped a piece off the sleeve and stuck it in a nice groove, in the middle of the wall.
Near the end of my journey, walking amongst slippery floors, I came to a section where it became sticky. My foot became stuck and fell. Fatigue came over me while. My perseverance to complete my circuit failed, and I began sleeping.
I was waking up when I saw a pitcher of water and a loaf of bread near me. My body; overtaking my mind made me partake in the meal without thinking. Right away I got to my feet and started counting the paces again. I counted up to fifty-two when I fell; touching the rag I counted forty-eight more. The shape and the size of the cell are confusing me why they would put me in such a big odd-shaped cell.
My intuition could never find out so I should have stopped, but my curiosity is still pushing me. Taking a few paces out my foot became stuck and I fell again. Landing face first I cursed as the pain ran through my chin, for the rest of my head is still elevated.
I just realized what really is happening. The fact that my head is wet with a substance not of my own bodily functions gave me my first clue. But the smell in my nostrils made it real. There was a pit that I have fallen short of.
I felt around breathlessly as I wet myself because of the fear that was put inside me. I’m curious though as to how deep this pit truly is. So I felt around even more until I grasped an unknown object and felt my way back to the hole.
I threw the object down the hole, and my heart ran into my throat as I heard three cracks on the wall, then a plop followed by an echo.
As soon as the echo finished its screech to the world, I heard a door open. Then a sudden light came on, and I saw their plot of my death. The black stone walls covered in blood, the gray stone floor scattered with blood and bones. I realized where my foot got stuck, and it was in the not-so-old blood As soon as I saw how close I came to falling in the pit I thanked God for saving me, and I began to applause my faults. For if I dared to take another step I would not have been seen again.
I stopped congratulating myself when I saw the horror of the inquisition. The tyranny they impressed on me to choose, death or death. I am given the choice a fast painless way of death or a cruel unimaginable death that is completely painful which was reserved for me if I did not take the quick death. I started wailing, every nerve in me became unstrung. I was trying to calm myself, but even my own voice scared me. I had no hope death was upon me no matter which path I choose. The torture has already begun.
Scared beyond words I wiggled as I felt my way back to the wall. I saw my pathetic self in the corner of this dungeon. These thought got themselves ran over by the thoughts of my family, my beautiful wife and two boys. If it were not for them I would have the courage to throw myself in the abyss set up for me; but now I am greatest of scoundrels. And what I could not kick out the thoughts of the tortures I have read about.
Anxiousness kept me up for hours on end, but as time crept by I finally slumbered. I woke up. Again a loaf of bread and some water lay next to me. A dying thirst came over me. I must have drank away at something good because a tiredness came upon me, such tiredness that I felt like my eternal sleep has arrived.
I woke up to a light. I had been moved in my slumber, to a low sturdy wooden frame. I attempted to move but was interrupted when a surcingle got into my path. I could only move my head and my left arm due to the rest of my limbs being tied down. The only reason I could move my arm was to grab the poorly seasoned meat, and to my disappointment, there was no beverage. It seems as if my tormentors knew I was thirsty.
I began to survey the ceiling which seemed to be forty to fifty feet high. I noticed something, a pendulum it reminded me of a double sided scythe. It swung slowly as it was the grandfather of all clocks. The blade made me cast it a second glance, and then I confirmed that it is a pendulum. Watching it amused me. The force of the swing is secure. A sense of fear began its course, but it was soon overrun by fascination as I marveled at its design.
I grew tired of the molasses moving pendulum and heard a noise. I turned my head and saw huge rats; they have been lured by the smell of meat. Their carnivorous eyes have eyed the meat and required me to focus on scaring them away.
My eyes strayed up to be surprised by how much the pendulum had descended. Horror came over me as I saw the semi-circle razor swing by me with great velocity and force. I wasn’t bothered by the thought of death just the fact that the death would come slowly as it slowly descended. I couldn’t stop paying it attention for the blade hissed now as I continuously swung above me.
The rumors became real. The ingenuity of monkish torture had filled my head, they have no mercy. I could have taken the courageous way out and died the gruesome death of the abyss. But I chose the milder death. I laughed at myself when I realized the terms I have used in my head.
Who else could tell you such a treacherous story that was true? For I have been lying in my wooden bed for days now, as the pendulum swept closer and closer.

Its not completely done, but hey it was a long time ago. :D

other than that work was fun tonight, and my internet didnt get cut off, also the cooks visited me at work so all in all it was a good night :D

I need to hear it every once in a while

all of us need to know some more than other

Looking forward to better days...

Hmmm, well tonight pretty much sucked, worked sucked, my mom is treatin me like im 12, i've had the feeling of being ignored hanging over my head, ive also had the stress of getting into the NSA on my head, and the NHS, im tired of being depressed and tired of dropping hints, tired of over analyzing everything in my life, tired of assuming the worst when most the times it comes out better, tired of not knowing what im gonna do when i grow up and just tired of being tired. i gotta get up at 6:20 on my day off, and i dont think anything is going to be able to cheer me up for a while, at least until tomorrow night



-HELP

I havent updated in a while

So i decided that i should, anyways, tonight was fun, rasseld on a moon bounce, threw a glow in the dark football, and hung jacobs ladder that no one used, but yea, im doin a lot better than i did when i last updated, the past weekend was a lot of fun and im hoping this weekend will be even more fun :D, i got my class ring and lemme tell ya, its huge, i love it :D, well i can't really think of anything else to say, cept im gonna leave a reminder that i have to get to church early on Sunday, im playin :D, hopefully lead :D, but yeah

Brian Out

UGHhh

I know some of you are anticipating my updates, well i havent updated, because right now im not in too good of a mood, lets just start with, fall lax is over and i only played 2 games.....spent a lot of money on gear, freakin leg....

Quick update

so this weekend has gone pretty good, could be better, but yeah. Dr. Prat is da bomb. He has great views about Heaven and the Earth, and yeah, i need prayer for some aynonomous things.

The Widow

THE MARS VOLTA

"The Widow"

He's got fasting black lungs

Made of clove splintered shardes

They're the kind that will talk

Through a weezing of coughs

And I hear him every night

In every pore

And every time he just makes me warm

Freeze without an answer

Free from all the shame

Must I hide?

Cause I'll never

Never sleep alone

Look at how they flock to him

From an isle of open sores

He knows that the taste is such

Such to die for

And I hear him every night

On every street

The scales that do slither

Deliver me from…

Freeze without an answer

Free from all the shame

Then I'll hide

Cause I'll never

Never sleep alone

Oh lord

Said I'm bloodshot for sure

Pale runs the ghost

Swollen on the shore

Everynight in every pore

The scales that do slither

Deliver me from…

Freeze without an answer

Free from all the shame

Then I'll hide

Cause I'll never

Never sleep alone

Freeze without an answer

Free from all the shame

Let me die

Cause I'll never

Never sleep alone

Though they may not be Christian lyrics, Omar is a lyrical genius

IM a busy lil bumble bee

So yeah that past two weeks have been great since ive been off of work and just realaxing. But since the beggining of this week, i needed thae days off, its only tuesday and im worn out, i had to do a 9 page summative assessment, which kept me up till 1 this morning, it was funny thought, because my mom walked in and was all like what are you doin up? and yeah didnt get in trouble.
And well this past weekend was great, i got to hang out with my friends and all. Friday was fun in the fact that Justin and i Dressed up and supported Erin. LOL, i think we embarassed her just a lil' bit. Saturday was just plain hang out day, it was fun, fun fun :D. Sunday went pretty well too.
Ill type mroe when i feel like im not writing another freaking assessment....God Bless All :D

4th Shut down say what?!!?

Yeah, thats right another game that leads rockbridge 3-0, today was pretty good, it went by fast, and i anticipated to go to Erin's game, where her and her team rocked the socks off of southern Maryland.Go Erin, yeah she didnt hit anyone down, but oh well. yeah that was pretty much the highlight of my day.

and as i promised a scripture. :D

Galatians 5:14-25:14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."15 If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17 For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.


Yeah some of this may seem harsh, but its true. I mainly put this in because it talks about the war inside us. Lately my sinful nature has gotten more of a hold of me than i like, so now i am retaliating. also i pointed out this scripture because it tells us how we should live our lives...and if you ever go astray, jsut pray (heh that rhymed) I dunno i don't have a big teaching on this passage like i usually have teaching on passages. But for some reason I felt that God wanted me to put it on here, so i did.

God Bless :D

Sooo0oo0oo

Today was great,i told her i don't think i've ever been scared like that in my whole entire life. But it all turned out good :D. I dont have to go to school in the AM, so hit up the cellular, and all yeah. Im gonna go read my Bible, and ill have a verse for everyone next time. Promise :D


God Bless

today/yesterday was fun :D

soo yeah today was fun. i hung out with the cooks and the waynes and justin all day, we went to panera bread visited allen and stayed for like an hour, then to the mall then to pick allen back up. it wasnt very eventful but still fun. We also watched the lion king, thats def. a classic :D

so i wanted to tell her today....but i couldnt :[, hopefully tomorrow :D

God Bless, see everyone at church :D

i like this song

Take my heart, I Lay it down
At the feet of you whose crowned
Take my life, I’m letting go
I lift it upto You who’s throned

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You Lord

Take my fret, take my fear
All I have, I’m leaving here
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
You're my delights, be my everything

And It’s just you and me here now
Only you and me here now

You should see the view
When it’s only You

well today went a lot better than the past few have, the drugs are starting to catch up to me and i cant think. Also Erin did awesome in her game, she made sure the score was 5-0 GO ERIN :D

Well

Today went a lot better, i saw all my friends, basically what i needed
THANKS GUYS :D

IM sorry Erin :[

God Bless

A special post just for Erin :D

I'm soo sorry, html isn't my friend, you were seriously the first person i added. But dont ever, ever think i hate you. You're my bestest best best friend( thats a girl :P), and i think highly of you so you better think highly of yourself. :D. Don't think i hate you or are mad at you because, ill never hate you and if i do get mad at you ill tell you. IM REALLY REALLY SORRY, now i feel all bad :'[



Love ya Erin, and God Bless all

eh

today was a little bit better, but i think thats only because i was busy

work sucked
my leg feels like its goin to fall off
looking forward to a brighter day :D

God Bless

feeeling about -360 deg.

yeah, i feel like im going in circles, today was a crappy day, tomorrow will prolly be the same, and the day after....i need to talk to someone, but i can't due to busy life schedules...Also my insecurities are goin' crazy right now so if i ask you a bazillion and 1 questions please don't hate me....
I feel

• like utter crap
• useless
• invisible
• ready to get out of highschool

• ready to live on my own
• a faliure to God and everyone else...
  
• not ready for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next
• like a coward
• like a craooy friend
  
• like a butthole towards everyone
• not like a leader...
  
• alone...

Im lacking vulgar language, it would put emphasis on how i feel, but its inappropriate.
Pray for me please
God Bless
....help...

Psalm 130

From the depths of despair, O LORD,
I call for your help,
Hear my cry, O LORD.
Pay attention to my prayer.

LORD, if you kept a record of our sins,
whom O LORD, could ever survive?
But you offer forgiveness,
that we might learn to fear you.

I am counting on the LORD;
yes, I am counting on him.
I have put my hope in his word.
I long for the LOrd
more than sentries long for the dawn,
yes, more than sentries long for the dawn.

O Israelm hope in the LORD;
for with the LORD there is unfailing love
and an overflowing supply of salvation.
He himself will free Israel
from every kind of sin.


This past week has been a hard one for me, i have said some retarted things, and have sinned like no other. I have also hurt, a not so pleasent hurt, physically, mentally and spiritually...I looked at this verse and it just made my day. Thanks for everyone for being my friends :D
(expect this passage to be a modern song soon.)

Get on da; CHOPPA'!

well tonight was a load of fun fun fun :D, we (lauren, aly and i) went to Erin's soccer game, unfortunately, her team lost, but she kicked some butt out there, wooo buddy!! but yeah, i got stuck on pain medication for my leg, its like an energy drink, i still can't sleep, joy!! soo yeah im bored now, nothin to do, and yeah, tommorrow/today is gonna be fun :D, missen people, but hey what can ya do about it? oh and we watched princess BRIDE, its prolly the weirdest movie i've ever seen, not really but it was out there, i think the producer was on something. well thats all, night world and God Bless!!! :D

Did you feel the mountains tremble

Well last week wasn't pretty at all, a lot of things happen, and well lets say, brian wasnt a happy camper at all. And finally things have changed pace, im really happy, and i feel closer to God than ever :D.

Here's an easy way to put it.

Last Week-
Well, somewhere in this darkness, there’s a light that I can’t find
Well, maybe its to far away, maybe I’m just blind
Maybe I’m just blind,


Now-
Open up the doors and let the music play
Let the streets resound with singing
Songs that bring your hope
Songs that bring your peace
Dancers who dance upon injustice

Basically a complete U-turn. Tomorrow's gonna be interesting...finding a parking spot, but hey i cant be to angry about it...i feel like i should be in college, im so ready to go, and just be done. this means i basically wanna grow up, and know what i wanna do. Sound engineer for now, but i hate math...Irony sucks...then maybe move to the NSA i dunno. well i gotta go finish my homework...Night.

I love this song...

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be a close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black
And I held my toungue as she told me
'Son fear is the heart of love'
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes...
Are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

yeah, this song is pretty much one of my favorites...its gonna take a while for me to be "up" again...

always blog when you're blue...

well i'll start with the happiness :D, I went to the youth kick off i had a blast. they kept us soo busy that i actually got tired... and thats kinda hard to do now a days. And we won our lacrosse game :D. I'll go into detail more about the weekend later this week, when im not so depressed...And well tonight it hit me...some things im not gonna mention, but i will mention that-it hit me tonight, that it's a high possibilty that i wont be able to reach my goals in life, yeah God has better plans but im soo stressed right now that everything is a blur...I wish i could tell a person all of my problems right now, but i can't because i just can't... well night.


P.S. Sorry people i trust most. :[

just got back

well just got back from the minute clinic, which is like a nirse thingy ma bobber, and well i have a sinus infection... not contagious, but i still feel like crap, it'l feel better soon, like a couple hours, so if anyone wants to hang out, gimmie a call..

Morning...

Well I woke up this morning, planning to go to church and all, like i actually woke up and everything. and imi sick....sore thoroat ard to talk and yeah, i don;t think im gonna go to work either


Brian out

An Extra long post just for Erin

hmmmm...what to write about? Well lets see. we'll start off with what ive been doing well right now my foot is itchy, heh. But seriously I've been hangin around the coolest group of kids i know :D (brownie points) but no seriously, i have been. I dunno why i've broshede them off in the past, but i guess spending a whole week with them and just them, and some other people, but i didnt really understand them all the time. I got to see their personalities :D and i liked them. And yeah, and all of this reminds me of Belize :D. Man oh man i miss Belize, God did soo many amazing things that week. I've learned a lot about myself also. and i still got to think about a speech. hmmm but anyways. The Cooks and the Waynes got me hooked on lacrosse...good job guys, but apparently im semi decent.seeing as i juked out justin and Dj..;P and of course i scored. but yeah, hmm other than that nothing really has been goin on...i think i know who i like now, that is still confusing for me... but im pretty sure its a solid like, im gonna wait a few more weeks though, before i announce it solid to anyone though. so don't be asking...hmm how else could i rable along about..hmmm Well i have been reading my Bible :D. and everytime I look at it know i see how people got the thought of zombies. and skeltons coming to life and what not, Because its actually in the Bible. its crazy. but yeah Im tired and i got to get up tomorrow , i am hopin ill go run tomorrow :P eat a healthy breakfast and all that jazz. Treadmill at SPRFC here i come. oh and yeah i need to excersize, and im looking for a running buddy :D soo anyone up for a running buddy??

Brian out.

Sooo what now?

Heh i dunno, i have no clue whats in the concotion of life for me. We seem to be on the brink of WW3. Life=bummer. and that abous all i have for tongiht.


Brian out

Its better being emo in the dark...

Ever have one of those nights you jsut feel rejected?? Yeah, im having one of those, i dunno what sparked it, or when it started...but i have an idea. And guess what, its because i like someone, surprise surprise...im not gonna go into full detail, but i felt avoided and none the less i feel like she doesnt feel the same way..heh. There's more to whether i should like her or not, because well thats another story and i just don't want to make people mad...that's all nothing is going out there no hints nothing. so don't ask because i won't tell. On top of that my raw and painful past has been pushed on me for the past week, i don't know why. I've just been seeing people and been asked questions upon questions about it. Even though the people know the answers. I've been assured that everything will be back to the way it was but, of course i don't think so. Some people will have to apologize and make things right before any of this takes place...

Emo in the dark is better because there is no one else to help, except Jesus....God Bless

Depressed Brian out.

September 11th

Never, ever forget...

HEY!

soo yeah, i was gonna blog a lot tonight because i know everyone is expecting since i brought it up tonight. But important information as of now....My toe still hurts from when i broke it...I'll updat more when i get time...

Brian Out

Sooo

Yeh so i have been busy like usual and neglecting my blog...hmm lets see lately i have been working, partying, and working on our youthgroup, its crazy how things turn and change.... eh i dunno i am excited about my trip to Belize, though, that is far off its the closest thing i look forward too. I am also thiking about joining a hockey team, Old Mill hockey...i think it will be fun, but i have to train over the summer and build up endurance....there are other things, but im gonna leave them unspoken...just pray for me please